Procrastination in seeking relief for hearing impairment is direct evidence of the denial process. It’s not unusual for someone to wait five, ten or even 20 years before seeking reasonable help for his or her hearing loss. During this time, the hearing-impaired individual as well as family and friends may engage in compromises and arguments as they try to deal with a hearing loss that has not been acknowledged (“What do you mean I don’t hear? I would hear fine if everybody didn’t mumble all the time! I hear all I need to!”). One gentleman in our office insisted he would hear the doorbell if people would only press it hard enough!

Why do some people have such a hard time accepting the fact that they may have a hearing loss?

• Stigma

Perhaps the greatest obstacle to accepting hearing loss is embarrassment. Somehow, the fact that a person’s ears are not hearing normally is embarrassing, while the need for eyeglasses is not. To a major degree the response has to do with the perception that one’s hearing loss reflects a loss of mental acuity.

Likewise, hearing loss can threaten a person’s self-image and create fears of becoming prematurely old, making it difficult to accept this condition. These concerns and denials appear more pronounced in men than in women. In addition, because hearing loss itself is invisible, a person may think he or she can cover up the problem so that no one else will know. Actually, hearing impairment is the third most common health problem and the greatest human sensory disability. In reality the hearing impairment is noticed by others but is often misunderstood as an uncaring or snobbish attitude, inattention, or even rudeness.

• Gradual

Hearing loss usually develops so gradually that a person is not aware of any change from year to year. Realization usually comes only after the repeated complaints of family, friends and co-workers. Yet those same complaints may make the individual defensive and unwilling to listen! Instead, the person may say, “I would hear the television fine if you wouldn’t set the volume so low,” or “It’s just that these new telephones don’t work as well as older phones,” or “I hear all I need to,” or “It wasn’t worth listening to anyway. Why bother?”

During the denial stage, family members begin to think that the hearing-impaired individual is purposely ignoring them. Stress, friction and arguments can be the result. (“You can hear me when you want to!” or “Why don’t you listen to
me?”).