What happened to the carefree days of summer? For many parents, the good old summertime is anything but? With kids out of daycare or school, the family schedules and routines go out the window. Many of us are left with the challenge of patching together a summer for our kids that provides them with appropriate care, fun and adventure within a budget. This requires time and careful planning. Add in approaching a boss about a flexible work schedule to pick up and drop off children and checking in with them more often on the phone, and you get summer stresses for working parents, especially for the parents of older children and young teens.

Some of the most commonly reported parent challenges brought on by summer:

• Finding appropriate childcare, camps, Bible schools, part-time jobs or volunteer opportunities for the kids.
• Summer transportation requirements for the children mean having to rely on the understanding and flexibility of your employer.
• Monitoring and worrying about older kids who are staying at home for any part of the summer, especially if they are watching a younger sibling.
• Paying for activities or summer programs.

While there are many summertime options for younger children, when kids get to be 12, 13, 14 and 15, it’s a lot more challenging. Maybe their interests have changed or they’re too old for previous summer activities. Remember when you couldn’t imagine a day when little Susie or Johnny didn’t get excited about baseball or soccer, doing crafts or playing camp games. Oh how they can change! So, if previous summer plans are no longer an option for the more mature Susan and John, what should a parent do?

Should an older child be “made” to do something productive and enriching during the summer or can they stay home alone? Do you have them watch a younger sibling or just let them hang out and sleep in. Maybe some combination is the best. There are as many answers as there are unique family situations. Hopefully, the information covered here can help you make a decision or better evaluate plans you’ve already made.

How do you know if your tween or teen is ready to handle being at home alone?

• The child must be comfortable being left alone, not anxious or frightened.
• There must be no emotional, medical or behavioral problems, which affect judgment or decision-making ability.
• They should, overall, have demonstrated the ability to follow guidelines for acceptable behavior at home and school. (If under supervision a child is non-conforming, challenging or disrespectful, there’s no reason to think this will be better if they are left alone.)
• The child can demonstrate the ability to follow a safety plan and make decisions that reflect concern for personal safety. (See In case of emergency, below.)
• Some of the above ideas are taken from Children Home Alone (2001), by Fairfax County Department of Family Services.

In case of emergency:

Develop a safety plan if something goes wrong including making a list of all appropriate emergency numbers (include work numbers and neighbor’s numbers) and conditions under which they would call the numbers.

• Go through fire procedures and escape routes.
• Go over through procedures for severe weather.

Home alone tips:
 
12-15 years

If you must leave this age group alone for any amount of time during the summer, keep them busy and keep in regular communication with them.

Control what you can!

• Leave them chores to do during the day. You can pay them for this help if you like or set rewards like renting a movie, going to the movies, mall shopping, etc.
• Have them check in regularly with a parent or responsible adult.
• Make out a schedule for them each day they are home. Review it when you get home and set a reward of time together as a family doing something fun. They have probably saved you some time in completing chores.
• Maintain tight restrictions on access to the Internet and on computer time.
• Instruct them on caller ID or an answering machine to screen calls.
• If they are allowed to play video games, schedule it and set a limit or disallow them while you are out of the home. (Remember, we grew up without them and found other things to do.) 
• Help them set a reading goal and put it on the schedule.
• Plan some fun meals they can prepare either for lunch or for the family dinner. They can learn something new and really help. (There are many meals that can be prepared in the microwave or with no cooking.) 
• Help them set a workout goal or get a fun exercise video and put it on the schedule.
• Do not allow any other children in your home when you are not present. Plan for friends in the evening or on the weekend.
• Include communicating with other family members on the schedule; for example, have them write a letter a day to out of town family, or call their grandparents. (Making cards could be a fun craft.)
• Let them pick out some craft kits at the hobby store and again, put it on the schedule. (You could have them organize the family pictures into albums.)

Babysitting training is recommended!

If your young person will be caring for a sibling for any length of time, a Babysitter’s Training Course is recommended. The American Red Cross offers a course for 11-15 year olds,
http://www.redcross.org/services/hss/courses/babyindex.html If you can’t fit in a course, you can teach your child yourself. There are books and many Internet resources available. 

If you have decided that staying busy outside the home is the best answer for your 12-15 year old, consider the ideas below:

• Check with the local hospitals, retirement centers or city and county parks and recreation departments for any volunteer programs.
• If you have a neighborhood association, check into organizing a day each week where kids come together and do a neighborhood project, parent supervised of course.
• Don’t forget, if you are fortunate enough to have supportive extended family, enlist their help in taking certain day(s) to plan something for your between or teen.
• Check with friends or relatives who own their own business. They might consider some help from your child this summer.

By Rebecca R. Mild-Williams
Licensed Professional Counselor
Certified Employee Assistance Professional
INTEGRIS Corporate Assistance Program

Resources:

National Childcare Information Center: http://www.nccic.org/. This is a great site for home alone and babysitter guidelines. Many helpful links are included.

Volunteer Center Network: www.volunteercenter.org. A national organization with opportunities specifically for youth.

Summertime Funtime Activities: www.kidssource.com. This site includes a very helpful calendar style list of fun things to do.

Summertime Fun for Single Parents: www.lifeway.com. An article about making the most of a week off work with the children.

Oklahoma Department of Human Services: www.okdhs.org. This site is full of helpful guidelines and statewide resources.