Do you ever feel like you are leading a double life? Are your responsibilities at work and at home totally different? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. At no other time is change so keenly felt as the transition between your work and home environment at the end of the workday. This time of day has been called the "whirlwind hour."

Transitions are times of change. Often during these times, our bodies are at the right place at the right time, but our minds are not. Our minds have not made the transition yet and are still trying to catch up. As your family returns home, everyone has special needs to be met. These needs often take families down a collision course that leads to increased stress and emotional outbreaks.
The more time you have to make transitions, the easier it will be. A hurried transition is always hard. Here are some tips to help relieve "hurry-up-itis."

Learn to manage your time so that you’ve completed your tasks and can leave work at the appointed hour.

Plan some catch up time so that if something unexpected happens, you'll have the time to deal with it.

Make your first hours at home after work less stressful by following some or all of the following suggestions:

Learn to separate your personal and work lives. Don't take your personal life to work and don't take your work home.
 
Use commuting time to make the transition between work and home.

Change clothes immediately after coming home from work. After you shed your work clothes, you’re ready to face the demands at home.

Involve your spouse and children in household chores. As children complete household tasks, they learn more about taking responsibility. They also feel like a valued member of the family.

Talk to your spouse and your children about your feelings. Good communication is important in strong families.

A parent has many tasks. One task is to help children take control of their actions by teaching them responsibility. When children take charge of some tasks in the family, they feel useful. It also helps to develop a healthy attitude toward work. Home is the ideal training ground where children can safely learn skills, habits, responsibilities, dependability, and self-discipline. It is not difficult to make a bed, but the challenge lies in making the bed everyday! Children who gain mastery over little things (such as making beds) will have power over greater things.
Giving the child a chance to take responsibility for a task may take extra time in the beginning. It will reduce the parent involvement in the task in the long run. This will make it easier for parents to balance work and family tasks.

Ideas for teaching children to take charge of tasks include:

• choosing tasks that are right for the age of the child.
• expecting family members to be involved.
• showing the child how to do the task.
• telling what is expected.
• breaking the task into smaller pieces.
• allowing children to make mistakes and learn from them.
• giving enough time for the child to learn.

Teaching responsibility when children are young helps them to learn to care for others. It also teaches that family members share the load of everyday living. Members of a family who share work and fun feel a sense of accomplishment. They also feel a sense of belonging.

Even 2 or 3 year olds can help out by taking responsibility:

• putting dirty clothes in the hamper
• picking up toys
• putting on their own clothes
• following simple family rules
• playing quietly while a parent makes lunch

Children helping with tasks can save parents time and energy. It can also help balance work and family tasks. Children need to share in the responsibility and work of running the home. Children need the training that comes through having responsibility and learning to work. Great families work together and then play and grow together!

For additional help you may contact CAP, to speak with a counselor, at (405) 947-2688 or (800) 677-2729.


Excerpt from http://urbanext.illinois.edu/familyworks/